its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i've created a new STD.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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