I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
birth control should be required to get into college
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
