Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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