I want to make a zoo with you.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
