i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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