pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The Olympian is in my bed
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
