My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
