Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she looked like the before picture.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
