it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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