I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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