dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
