Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
