My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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