Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
