I hate all girls vehemently.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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