Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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