I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
