We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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