Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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