dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
