Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize