yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
