it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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