i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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