party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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