VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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