the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
