he puts the penis in happiness.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
