ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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