You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize