It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I wish there were birth control emojis
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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