I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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