Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
A+ Viking dick
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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