Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
