I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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