its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
