youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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