that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
