Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
