I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
