Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
