I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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