pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
