Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
