You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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