What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize