We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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