You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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