Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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