nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
