i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
