i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
