Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
