you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
