do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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