it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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