Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Someone came in the potted fern
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
