If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
