Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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