Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize