My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
