on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
