she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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