I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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