we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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