Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
