Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Your topless pictures make me question reality
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
